Oh, I think this is where we're going. Right here. Is this it?
Oh, hey!
He's probably attacking the breakfast bar.
No.
All right.
So...
-What are we doing? Why are we here? -Having breakfast here.
Why?
Karl stayed here last night. That's why we're meeting here.
So where's Dad? Is he here already?
Who do you think we've been talking to?
I don't...
There he is.
How is he? How is he doing?
I don't know why he insisted on driving himself the whole way.
He won't wear his hearing aids.
-I don't think he slept in days. -Fifty-seven degrees in Chicago.
Thirteen here.
-All right, Dad. Wait. -How do you explain that?
-We can't hear you. Mare? -I'm sorry.
Thank you.
-How you doing, kid? -Hey, hey, Dad!
Yes, yes, yes!
Is he up yet?
Yeah! Oh, boy, is he up. What time did you get in?
We don't know. Like 5 a.m.
Five a.m., shank of the day. Shank of the day.
-Are you coming in? -Yeah.
-Come on. -Alrighty!
-Oh, sorry. -They got a--
They got a what? Wait a minute. Can't hear you.
All right, hold on here. The car-- Okay, good.
What've they got, Dad?
They got a wonderful buffet in there.
Everything. Everything to eat.
Karl's on his third waffle.
-Oh, yummy, yummy, yummykins. -Yeah.
Welcome.
Hey, Dad.
I don't-- I don't know if I'm up for this.
Okay.
Come on, Dad.
-See you. -We'll get you inside.
Yup.
What?
I'm glad you came.
-Course I came. -Yeah.
Hey! Karl!
-Hey, Al. -Hey.
Hi.
-How you doing? -I'm good.
Hey, Karl.
-How you doing? -Well, you know.
-How am I supposed to be doing? -Yeah. Yeah.
-Hey. -Hey.
You want a waffle?
Oh, no. Oh, no. Thank you, though.
Oh, look, they've chosen right-wing propaganda
as their default news channel.
-Karl watches that channel, so be careful. -I know.
-And every once in a while, I do too. -You do not.
I do. Information, Dan.
Who is he talking to?
God knows. You know he's always up to something.
-Danny! -Yeah?
Come here.
-Can you take this one? -No. He clearly wants you.
Go get them, tiger.
-Yeah? -Tell Karl I want him on the phone.
-Karl. -Fresh.
My dad wants you to talk to somebody on the phone.
-Yeah, who is it? -You think he tells me anything?
-I'll watch the waffle, Karl. -Yeah.
-Thank you. -Sure, I got it.
I know.
I've gotta do some yoga today.
I'm gonna put on 5 pounds this weekend. I can feel it already.
Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore.
No, we're in Missouri.
Yeah.
What I don't understand is, as her father,
you're telling me, I have no say in this matter?
What kind of nonsense is that?
Here's the husband!
Hello?
This is him.
-"He." -This is he.
Hold on a sec.
-"Him, he..." -Hello?
Good.
-Detective Franchetti? -Great.
This-- It's Karl Mueller.
No, no, no, he's the dad.
"This place has been ranked as high as number two
in best places to live.
But has not ranked in the top hundred
-since 2006." -Okay. Bye.
Yeah. He said we can't view the body.
By the way, I...
spoke to the--
The guy from the apartment complex, the manager.
-Said we could come by the front office, -Yeah?
and he'll--
He'll take us over the apartment.
Well...
Well, when was this?
I've been trying to get that guy on the phone all morning.
I talked to him while I was waiting for you guys to show up.
All right. Shit.
I'm...
-I'm gonna get that waffle. -Yup.
So why doesn't he give us the address and we just meet him there?
Because then he wouldn't be in charge and he would have nothing to do.
-Yeah, that's very-- Actually, very... -Yeah.
Can we stop by and get a tea somewhere?
All they had was shitty coffee in that buffet.
They had tea in there. Didn't they have tea, Al?
That wasn't tea. That was Lipton's.
-She's gotta unlock it first, okay? -Thank you.
Yeah, right.
Okay, laugh if you want to.
I am not gonna survive out here in the back of beyond.
What are you talking about? You were born here.
-I was born in Kansas City. -It's still Missouri.
-And I chose to leave. -You were 2.
And very persuasive.
Isn't there a Starbucks? Aren't there Starbucks every 2.5 miles?
-Isn't that a law? -No.
I don't think we're allowed to make any unauthorized stops, Daniel.
There's Karl.
That-- That's not Karl.
It's not?
No, no, no, that's a gray minivan. His is, like, a black, soccer-mom van.
-When'd you guys talk to her last? -Me?
Yeah, I mean, both of you.
Oh, here comes Karl.
So you guys are gonna follow me, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we will, but not yet.
-Karl! Karl! -Wait!
What?!
-Come back, Karl! -I'm coming, I'm coming.
Oh, my God.
-Yeah? -We have to wait for Dad first, right?
-Oh, right. Where'd he go? -I thought you were together.
Nope.
Well, didn't he park next to you?
-I don't know where he parked. -Okay, well, we gotta wait.
He parked around back.
-Okay, okay. -Here he comes. Lord.
Ah, there he is.
-I've never seen him like that. -Jesus!
-Don't panic. -Slow down!
Hey, Dad.
-You're following me and Karl, right? -Yes, you have it right. Now we--
Jesus, watch the car! Watch the fucking car!
Oh, my God!
-This will be all right. -All right.
Okay, let's go.
What's wrong with you, bozo?!
-You gotta follow me! I know the way! -Oh, you know the way!
Yeah, like you know the way of life!
Go on, go on ahead of me!
-I think I will put my seat belt on. -It shouldn't be this hard.
-Why is he stopping? -There's another car.
Yeah, but she's telling him to go.
The hell you waiting for?!
It is with the common illustration of marriage that God explains
his love and joy in seeing people brought into fellowship with him.
Matthew 22:2-9.
In fact, a Christian marriage is the greatest picture
on Earth of the relationship between Jesus Christ and the Chur--
Goddamn it.
Damn it.
Tommy. Yeah.
Yeah, I just noticed.
I know. Sorry about that.
How far back are you?
Okay, I'm pulling over, yeah.
Yeah, I'll wait for you and pull back out when I see you, okay?
Okay, bye.
Damn it. Goddamn it.
Okay.
-How the hell was I supposed to know? -No, you're not telepathic.
You said we were staying for a night at most.
I know, but I didn't know that
Mom was gonna crash and need to go back on chemo.
Okay, so why don't I drop you off at the hospital,
go home, stay with the dogs,
get my sister to take care of them for the weekend?
Then I'll come back down and get you.
The dogs don't like her.
Why does this has to be such a big fricking drama?
-I don't know what else to tell you. -Nothing. It's my fault as usual.
What the hell? I thought you were gonna run every light in town!
-Sorry about that, Tommy. -Sorry's right.
All right, look, as long as we're stopped, Danny says he wants some coffee.
Now, don't ask me why.
I'll pull into the first place I see, you follow me there.
-All right. -And don't run lights!
I won't.
Goddamn!
You guys want anything?
-Nah, nah, I'm good. -No, thanks, Dad.
Nothing for me. I got a headache from all the caffeine.
If there's a doughnut, I'll have a doughnut.
Yeah, sure, sure.
-Didn't you just eat? -Naturally.
Well, he asked.
Ah, thank you, my friend.
Hey! I'm gonna get myself a tea. You want something?
-Get me a coffee while you're at it. -Okay.
Yeah. You don't drink coffee anymore?
Yeah, about a year back. It's that acid thing.
Yeah. Anyway, I gotta talk to you.
I got a call from that Detective Franchetti.
-Okay. -Yeah.
So...
I haven't told the girls anything.
Or Karl.
I'm just trying to get all the information I can.
-Right. Yeah, right, so... -You understand?
Well, here's the thing. He says I can't...
actually have it...
because I'm not the husband.
But I thought you said he called.
I don't know what's in the damn thing.
And I don't want Karl reading it,
whatever it is.
Right.
It's a note.
Why can't you call him back?
He says I can't actually have the note
because it's part of an--
An investigation now.
But he says maybe he can...
read some of it to me.
I just don't know what the damn thing says.
And I don't want anyone getting hurt.
Well, Dad, this doesn't surprise me.
From the minute you called, I knew what this was.
Until I know...
I don't want to go around assuming anything.
I think it's pretty obvious.
She--
No, no, no.
Okay?
You and I don't know.
-Get me a coffee, would you? -Okay.
Hey, get Karl a doughnut.
Hey, can I get...
one tea?
Black tea with milk on the side. Or just put the milk in.
A coffee. And, I guess, one of these.
Thought maybe you fell in.
Yeah, well, listen, it's time to get going.
The guy said to be there about 8:30, didn't he?
-I told him sometime after 8, 8:30. -Yeah? All right.
Try not to lose us this time, okay?
Tommy, you just gotta keep up. Stop gawking.
Why is Karl leading? I mean, has he ever even been there?
I don't think so.
But you have, so what--?
I don't know.
-Why don't we get this rearranged--? -Allie, really, really, Allie.
Don't bother, really. Just sit back, enjoy the journey.
-Here, have a doughnut. -Danny, you're riding with me!
Come on! Let's go, damn it!
-I thought-- -Just relax, sit back, enjoy the journey.
Betty and I are thinking of coming up.
Oh, great.
Maybe around Thanksgiving.
You guys doing Thanksgiving again this year?
I hadn't really thought that far ahead, but...
What?
You know Phillipe likes a party.
Yeah, I know. My buddy, Phillipe.
What time are you getting out of here?
Oh, I'm beat.
Come on, Leen, don't make me drink alone.
-Yeah. -How are your babies?
Don't point that thing at me!
Have you and Kim been torturing babies?
-Stop! I don't look good. Stop. -Okay. Sorry, sorry.
We do not torture the babies.
-We just squeeze their little hands... -Oh, Jesus.
to get them to pee.
You guys are brutal.
I mean, especially the fubar ones.
Wait, wait, I'm sorry. What did you say? What is that word?
Fubar. You know, fucked up beyond all recognition.
Okay. All right, hey. Hey, hey, now.
That-- That is terrible. These are babies.
Oh, you have no idea.
They're little circus freaks.
Some of them have extra fingers and toes,
and we're just like, "Oh, that's gotta go." Snip!
-No. Stop. Stop! -Oh, and that!
Stop! Stop.
I thought you were supposed to be nurturing and caring.
Oh, you would never make it.
-You would be out-- Never! -Never.
You would be out on day one, you pansies.
Hey, that's...
-Karl, want a refill? -No. I'll probably end up driving.
-Colleen? -No, no.
Colleen! Hello?
Hi. Wakey-wakey.
No, she's not asleep, she's-- She's just...
You got a new show. What's the name of the show?
Frankie.
-What's that? -The name of the play I'm doing.
So who's Frankie? I thought you were the lead.
Yeah, I am, I'm-- That's the name of the character I play.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, it's a British show. It was a big hit in London.
How's it doing here?
You know, we'll see. It's...
Still finding our feet. Audiences aren't really...
coming yet.
Well, damn.
I-- I love them.
Who?
-I love them, my babies, I love them. -Oh, God, you see?
-They're my life. I would die for them. -Yup. I told you, I'd be driving.
Is she all right?
Yeah, yeah, she's been getting like this a lot lately.
What the hell?
It's fine, it's her meds. Let me get my stuff together.
Her meds? Since when?
Hey, Danny, you only see her when you happen to be free.
When you guys aren't traveling, so...
So what, Karl?
Damn it.
What's wrong, Dad?
He's a herky-jerky driver. He speeds up, slows down, speeds up.
Drives me nuts.
I should never have let him take the lead.
Why--? Why you slowing down, huh?
-I'm gonna get Dad out. Give me a hand? -Come on, guys.
Thanks, dearest.
-Yeah, no, I know. Here, here. -Mare's been there before.
-Here we go. -Wait.
-Here we go. -Here you go.
-All right. -Great. So...
-we wanna be here. -Wait a second. No, no, no.
Wait, you can't-- If you're missing half the map, Karl.
-How will you manage? -This is the half we need.
Oh, Jesus.
We should have taken that left-hand--
-No. -We recognized it.
-I have a feeling that was it. -No.
Karl!
Wait. Tommy, look.
-What? -We're here.
Yup.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I see it.
-We got it. -We all settled?
-Yeah, we got it, Tommy. -Goddamn, it's about time.
-Okay, guys, follow me. -Gotta be more constructive next time.
-Gotta follow me, guys! -Okay!
Just follow me, all right?
Thank you, darling.
You're in the will.
Thanks, Dad!
You can go ahead.
All right. Wait, Karl!
All right. Go, go, go!
So is this where you were, Mare?
Yeah. This is her building. She's on the second floor, on the end.
-God, I hate these places. -Really? I think it's sweet.
-Yeah, I'd hang myself. -Dan.
-Really? -I'm just saying.
So, what movie did you watch?
Mare, what movie did you guys watch?
Who?
You and Colleen, when you were out here.
I don't remember. You know, she's into that horror stuff.
So, what are we waiting for now?
Dad and Karl had to find the manager. I guess he has the keys.
I think she wanted to watch a Stephen King thing,
and I was like:
You remember those friends of hers in high school?
-The family, the funeral family. -Oh, the Lynches.
Oh, yeah, we had one in my grade.
They had a kid in every grade. They had like 11 kids.
Do you remember the time that she spent the night
at the funeral parlor with the one that was her age?
-Chris. -Yeah, Chris.
Oh, Chris was cute.
Mare, he's like eight years younger than you.
He was cute.
No, no, no. Chris was the one in my grade. It was...
-Matt. -Oh, yeah, Matt, not so cute.
-We've come all the way from Kansas. -What is he doing?
So go on. Back to the story.
Oh, so she and Matt were--
I don't think they were dating,
but they were just friends, and he asked her over
to the funeral parlor to... And I guess one of the kids
always had to spend the night. I don't know why.
-They had to guard the bodies. -Am I telling this?
-Yeah, but, you gotta tell it right, Al. -Wait, they had bodies there?
Yeah. It was a funeral home, okay? So where would you expect them to be?
Wait, but that's kind of the point.
So they had this little apartment above it.
And to get there, you had to go through this kitchen or freezer area,
where they kept the bodies until the wake.
And they're up in the little apartment, watching this movie.
Colleen doesn't know what the movie is,
but there's a bunch of teenagers living in an old house next to a cemetery.
-Night of the Living Dead. -Yes.
-Oh, my God.
She's getting more and more freaked out, and she finally says to Matt:
"I've gotta go," and she gets up and runs downstairs.
-Oh, the bodies, the bodies. -Mare, stop, stop, stop.
And she's totally freaked out now, and she sort of just barrels into the kitchen
and barrels into one of the--
-The tables, the gurneys. -The tables and...
Oh, my God, that's right.
-The body falls off! -Mare--
Oh, my God. I remember this now, right?
The body falls off onto the floor. She told me this.
No, the body did not fall off.
Were you there?
She told me that the body fell off too, Al.
The body did not fall off. It's fine.
So go on. What happened?
No. I'm not telling it.
I mean, you guys seem to know what happened, so...
-Stop it. -Come on.
Come on, Al.
-Stop it. -Come on, tell us the story.
-Mare. -So...
she...
She knocks into the body and it falls off, and she screams.
It's midnight. She jumps into her car and goes 80 all the way home.
That's so-- So funny.
The end.
Oh, that is so funny.
-She liked her scary movies. -Yeah, she did.
-Put your window down. -Oh, here.
Okay, I gotta turn the-- Hold on, hold on.
-Thought you was leaving. -No, I had to turn on the car to open it.
-What's up? -So the guy says we have to come back.
Why?
Well, I guess they have to clean it or something.
What--? We're just getting clothes and things.
Why do they have to clean it first?
Well, I don't know. I guess there's some stuff.
They have to clean up something.
What, am I missing something?
They don't want us to see it before they clean it up.
Okay.
So when do we have to come back?
A couple hours.
-Oh, God. -Jesus.
All right.
Okay. Whatever.
I gotta get back to Tommy. He's-- He's pissed off.
-Yeah. -Okay, thanks, Karl.
-You okay, Dan? -Yep.
You got a nail clipper?
I don't think so.
I don't know what to eat.
-What do you usually have for breakfast? -Hey, folks.
Can I get anyone started with a beverage or one of our signature coffees?
-Could I get a black tea with milk? -Iced?
No. Hot tea with milk.
Okay. Anyone else?
-Coffee. -Coffee.
I'll take a coffee too, please.
-Dad? -Drink?
Oh, I...
-Diet Coke. -Yeah.
Okay, I will get you started on those drinks
and then I'll be back to answer any questions.
You know what you're getting?
-They're too strong for me. -All right.
Wake up.
Okay. One tea. Hot.
Milk with a bit of lemon on the side, just in case.
-And coffee for the ladies. -Great.
Another coffee for you, for the gentleman.
-Thank you. -And one Diet Coke.
There you go.
-You have any questions or...? -Nope.
Breakfast is all the way at the back. We serve that all day.
Oh, good.
I can also give you some more time.
No, I think we can all order, huh?
-Yeah. -Yeah, yeah, I'll have the...
two scrambled eggs.
It comes with biscuits and hash browns, shoestrings or cottage cheese.
Anybody wanna eat my biscuit if I get it?
-Get it, Dad. Somebody will eat it. -I'll have it.
-What kind of toast do you want? -I'm having a biscuit.
You also get toast.
Anybody want my toast?
Yeah, just get it, Dad. We'll put it in the middle.
Okay, okay. I'll have the toast.
I will have the tuna platter and cottage cheese.
-What kind of dressing you want? -Oh, it comes with dressing?
Oh, no, I don't need...
We have ranch, blue cheese, Thousand Island, French, and Italian.
Oh, I'll just get...
Jesus.
-Ranch. -Ranch. Ranch.
And for you, ma'am?
I'll take the bran muffin, toasted.
-Sir? -You dieting?
-Do you have any yogurt? -Yogurt?
No. I don't.
-I don't think we do. -All right.
-You want me to go ask? -No, no, no.
I'll just have the-- The cottage cheese. Do you have any fruits?
You mean, like a fruit cup?
No, I mean, like an apple or a banana.
I don't-- I don't think so.
Let me go check.
What are you getting, Karl?
Honestly, I just ate back at the other place.
I'm sorry, sir, no fruits.
-Okay. -Okay.
So I'll just have the cottage cheese.
-Okay. And for you, sir? -Yeah.
Give me the French toast.
Comes with bacon or sausage.
-Give me the sausage. -Links or patties?
Patties.
-He said he just ate. -I know.
Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry.
Oh, I got it. There you go. Yeah.
If you need anything else, my name is Kurt.
Okay, Kurt.
It's The Sound of Music.
And we have Liesl right here at our own table.
So funny.
-What's so funny? What's so funny? -Never mind.
Come on.
So Betty has them in her purse?
Now?
Exactly like Mom.
Tommy, Tommy, come on.
It was the darnedest thing.
We got this package in the mail, and it was heavy as all get out.
Betty looks at it and says to me:
"Oh, what in the world?"
And there wasn't even a return address on it.
Don't open the damn thing. Liable to be a bomb.
I told Betty to open it.
And we both go out on the back porch.
-Oh, right, like that's gonna make it safer. -Yeah.
A whole lot of tissue paper inside.
-Colleen is so funny, just getting it all... -And there's a brick in there!
-What? -Oh, my God.
A brick. That's why it was heavy, you see?
Then, next to the brick, I see this tuft of little blond hair.
-Yes. Yes. -And I'm saying to myself:
"What the hell?
What the hell?"
And she pulls out this doll's head
with all this blue eye-shadow makeup on it.
She didn't know what the hell was going on here.
I'm trying to explain to her what it is.
I'm just finding it too damned funny.
-So wait--? So where did Colleen get it? -Your Mom!
Your Mom sent it to her months ago.
No, no, no.
Colleen was always getting on Mom for saving everything, right?
So Mom had all these dolls with missing parts.
So, for a joke, she gives them to my girls in a box for Christmas.
And Colleen and the girls take off the heads and make them up
and give them back to Mom.
And she loved it, of course.
She used to carry them around with her in her purse.
I think they're practicing voodoo.
Exactly!
-Why didn't I ever get it? -It's a girl thing.
Did Vicky ever get it?
-No! That's sick. -No!
Oh, come on, come on. Let's be nice.
-Oh, Dad, you hate her. -I don't hate her.
Yeah, you guys are rough.
It's hard being an outsider in this family.
I have an announcement to make.
Might as well make it now. Good a time as any.
Things have been pretty hard for me at the house
since your mom passed.
"Pretty hard" is putting it mildly.
And Betty has been a very good and loyal friend.
So we decided
that we're going to get married the month of May.
That's-- That's great, Dad.
That's wonderful.
Betty is very sweet.
Yeah, and she has the dolls' heads.
Sort of like a...
A blessing from the beyond.
Thank you, Karl.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
So as long as we're all jumping in, I have an announcement to make.
Oh, my God.
Phillipe...
and I have decided to adopt a baby.
-Oh, my. -Oh, that's wonderful.
I get to be an auntie again with a little baby.
When is this all taking place?
We applied for the foster care agency,
and we got our license last week.
-Colleen actually knew all about it. -She would love this.
-Yeah, she would. -She would be laughing her ass off
-right now. -Yeah, totally, right?
-She would've laughed. -Betty with the dolls.
Yeah, well, I hope you're ready for a lot of sleepless nights.
Thanks.
-Hey. -Here you go, Dad.
Oh, no, Daniel.
Oh, boy.
-Yep. -Yeah.
-Thank you. -Alrighty?
Maybe a little something in the envelope.
-Danny! -Yep?
You riding with me or the girls?
I got room in my car.
Hey, that's a great idea.
-Dan, why don't you ride with Karl? -There you go.
Come on, Dan.
He's gonna go for a drink. Guarantee it.
Let me get my belt on. Sorry, Karl.
-Wait-- Wait till Karl goes. -Good to go, guys, wait.
-You're good to go, you can go. -No, no, no.
Guys, guys! Dan! Dan!
-Dan, what--? -He's hailing a cab.
-He thinks he's in Manhattan. -Go!
-You can go. Go, go, go! -Come on!
Can he hail a cab?
Does he think he's on the Broadway stage out there?
Karl, wait!
And I think people realize that that's why every evil force out there,
especially the liberals, hate him.
Because he is good, he is good.
He's not one of these fake-- "Oh, I wanna help refugees.
Oh, I wanna help gender-fluent-- Fluid-- Whatever it is."
Those people who tell you how good they are...
-Would you mind? Just... Yeah. -No, no, no, please.
-Okay. -Yeah. I know you.
You know? It's not-- It's not nice.
-Oh, gonna snow. -No. No, those are rain clouds.
-Really? Okay. -Yeah, it's gonna rain.
It might brighten up later, you know?
-Some sunshine. -You know what they say:
"You don't like the weather, wait five minutes."
Okay.
Right.
Yeah. Five minutes.
Then it changes, right?
So...
you guys gonna have a baby, huh?
Yep.
Leaving it kind of late, aren't you?
Yes, we are.
Better late than never, I guess.
-Yes, that's what we figured. -Yeah.
-Congratulations.
-Yeah. -That's nice.
Yeah.
She...
Yeah, Colleen would've loved that.
You guys having a kid, you know, she...
I know.
She would have loved that.
-Yeah. -You know what she told me?
She said that you are going to be a great dad.
Yeah.
I don't know.
You will.
She's really excited.
Said she's gonna come up on her days off.
That could work out really well.
Especially if I'm in L.A. a lot.
Right.
Leave me back in Brooklyn with a newborn.
I know, I know. You know the deal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but listen:
Once I find a baby of my own, I won't really need you anyway.
You can just send us the checks. We'll be fine. Yeah.
You can come visit.
Oh, my God.
Boys...
come on back and meet my babies.
Karl, Mare says we have to pull over up ahead.
-Why? -I don't know.
-She says to pull over as soon as we can. -Okay.
Next block.
How about...?
-How about there? -Yeah.
Yeah.
-Sun's coming out. -Told you.
You said rain.
-Well, you said wait five minutes. -Oh, I see.
-Oh, goddamn it! -Alrighty!
Well...
-Like I need this. -What's going on?
The car is smoking.
It's not like we're doing anything else, Mare.
You probably just need some oil.
-Yeah, you think? -Yep.
Why don't you get your husband to get you a new car?
-This is the new car, Allie. -Okay, all right.
Damn it. Will you go and get me some oil?
-Sure, right away. I'll run and fetch it. -Thank you.
You want something to eat, Karl?
-Is she getting food? -I think she was just joking.
-Oh, Dad. -What are we doing?
Oh, you know, being ourselves.
It's like I'm in a community theater production of No Exit.
Huis Clos.
That's right. You always surprise me.
You gotta keep those postal patrons on their toes.
And I get a lot of time to read.
-You coming in? -Fuck, no.
Dad, I'm sorry, the car started smoking.
Why?
-What did you think...? -The oil needed changing.
-I asked Howard to do it. -Hi, it's Phillipe. You know what to do.
I'm sorry.
Hey, Phillipe. Saw that you called.
Lousy reception out here. Just thinking about you.
Anyway, okay, like that. Just wanted to see how you are.
Call me. Love you.
Bye.
How's that ride with Karl going?
Don't start.
-Why is he even here? -He's her husband.
Yeah, he was, and she left him.
I think he was hoping that they were gonna get back together.
-I don't think that was gonna happen. -No?
-She was living in Al's basement. -I know.
I don't think she even knew what she was looking for, you know?
I thought she was on the upswing.
You remember what Mom said after she--? After the last thing?
No, what?
She said, "I've been waiting 20 years for that shoe to drop."
Mare, what was she even doing here?
-She was doing the visiting-nurse thing. -I know, but why here?
I guess the pay was good. They hired her for four months.
-I can't believe she left her dogs with Karl. -She couldn't bring them to Allie's.
Worf would've ripped them apart.
-God. -I think we're being summoned.
All right.
-Dan, Mare. -Yeah.
Yeah, can you repeat that for me?
Yeah, okay.
So the items that we're interested in,
they would be in the possession of the ME, right?
The ME. Okay, I got that, yeah.
I need a pen. I need a pen right away. Hurry up and get me a pen.
-Okay. -I gotta write it down.
-Hold on. -What do you need, Dad?
-Hey, Dad just give me the-- -I need a pen. That's what I need.
But I can write it in my phone.
-Your phone doesn't do me any good... -My iPhone.
when I'm over here and you're over there, does it?
What kind of sense is--? I'm sorry.
All right. I won't do that right now.
-Hello? Hello? -I found one, Dad!
-Hey, Karl, we don't need-- -Here's the paper.
Oh, okay, hold on.
-What are you doing now? -I gotta take off my mittens.
See? See? If I used the iPhone--
You almost stuck me in the eye with that pen.
-Yeah, I'm listening. -You can do something else.
Will you shut up?
-Suzanne? Suzanne Skeers. -Suzanne.
Skeers.
-How do you spell Skeers? -S-K-E-E-R-S.
Could you give me her phone number, please?
-753-- Okay, I got that. -Yeah?
-555... -555...
-Yeah, 04... -04.
08. All right. I got that, yeah. Now, can you tell me this?
-I'm back! -Hey...
Got the oil.
-What--? What's the matter? -Hello?
-What? "No, no," what?
Do you wanna call that Suzanne Skeers now?
Yeah, let's call-- Call her.
-Okay, you ready? -What's that number?
-It's 1-- -753-555-0408.
-753... -555-0408.
-555... -555...
-04. -0408.
04...
-08. -08.
He's got an addiction to that phone or something.
I don't need you anymore-- Your instincts.
-Are you okay, Dad? -I'm fine, dear.
Oh, it's you.
Yeah, don't worry about me.
We're in good shape.
I don't know.
-He needed a woman. -What's going on?
-He needed a woman's number. -What are you doing?
There was a sale on Thanksgiving decorations.
Couldn't resist. And dog food.
You're gonna carry that back with you on the plane?
Well, Worf's a big boy. He eats a lot. It was on sale. Money's tight.
You're gonna pay as much in extra baggage fees.
I haven't thought of that.
I got a neighbor with a dog.
-I can give it to her. -Oh, fuck.
Or we could just munch on it in the car.
Okay, Dad, we're all set now.
-Okay, she's good to go. You're welcome. -Thank you, Karl, I really appreciate it.
Did you put the cap back on, Karl?
-Where are we going? Anybody? -Cap's back on.
-Hello? -You could ride with me.
-Who am I with? -Dan, get in the fucking car! Any car!
Could I--? Should I--?
Hey, Dad.
Yeah, no, Dad, I don't think that's gonna work.
Yeah, but if she's concerned that she'll be seen talking to us,
why don't we just get into one of our cars?
Yeah, be like old times.
Okay, yup, yup.
Okay, bye.
-Oh, my God. -Yeah, thanks for the help.
Dan, really?
Hey, I gotta document.
-It's like when we were kids. -Marathon trips to Florida.
What?
Just...
-Dad? -Who's Tommy talking to now?
It's so funny. He pretends to hate everything modern, but look at him.
He never let Mom learn to do the computer.
He would sit over her shoulder and correct her
before she even punched any of the buttons.
-She finally just gave up. -Yeah, she was more of a people person.
This would kill her.
Glad she's not alive to see this.
Yeah.
-Some things work out that way, I guess. -Got that leg? Okay.
Got that leg? Okay.
-Hi. -Hi.
-Hi. I'm Tommy O'Connor.
Are you Suzanne?
Hi, Mr. O'Connor. Yes, I'm Sue.
-Sue. I thought it was Suzanne. -No, Sue is good.
You can call me Sue.
Okay, now the first thing I'd like to talk about with you--
-Mr. O'Connor, I can't talk to you. -You what?
Legally, I'm supposed to speak to the husband.
I'm the husband. I'm Karl.
Great. If you want,
you can authorize that I speak to the rest of the family. That's entirely up to you.
No, no, no, that's fine. You can talk to everyone.
Okay, this is what we found.
Some objects are collected differently,
depending on who arrives first and who discovers the body first.
Okay, car keys, that's good.
-Is there a necklace in there? -Oh, my God.
-What necklace? -Mom's wedding ring.
Okay, I don't see it.
I don't remember a necklace, but the police, for instance,
-took the note and some other things. -The note?
Yeah, I didn't know anything about some note.
Yeah, the detective mentioned that to me. I just wasn't sure what kind of note it was.
Well, as I said, some things are not in our jurisdiction.
You'll have to take that up with the police.
Dad, why are the police involved?
Because this is the first I'm hearing about this-- This note.
Right, Karl. Nobody knew there was a note.
-Your dad did. -Dad?
Hold up, Allie!
I didn't wanna bring it up until I knew more about it.
I don't think it's good to go jumping to conclusions.
I don't know about all that. She was depressed and left a note.
I don't know what else conclusion you can draw from that.
We don't know, Karl.
I talked to her on Monday. She was very stressed and tired.
They have 14-hour shifts. She was in a new place.
And I think that there are a lot of factors.
-I think-- -Right, right.
But we know it wasn't accidental.
Sue, do you mind if we talk in private?
I'm sorry, I can't do that.
Okay, okay, okay.
Well, I know that we are wondering
what the events were that led up to this.
We don't really know.
I don't even know where she is at the moment.
Well, in accordance with our regs,
she was taken to the county morgue, after our autopsy,
and is awaiting cremation.
Oh, God.
Will there be a viewing of the body?
That's a police procedure, so I don't know.
-Yeah. -Well...
I don't want to see the body. I--
I don't think she would want that.
Okay.
This is the autopsy report. I assume to give it to you, sir.
The report is fairly technical.
If you're interested, I'll tell you what I found.
-I'd like to know. -Dan.
Okay.
Dan.
Can I see the purse, Karl?
Yeah.
Hold on a sec.
The body was discovered by James Dunnant.
He was the building manager
and had tried calling her the day before about her rent.
Apparently, rent was paid weekly, and he said she had fallen behind.
I'm not sure how many weeks. Two or three.
At any rate, he had slipped a note under her door the day before
and was coming by to follow up.
He said he knocked and waited,
and after a few minutes, entered the apartment.
Upon entering, the apartment was in disarray.
A plant had been knocked over, blocking his way.
He saw what looked like a pool of blood by the kitchen sink.
In the living room, he noticed several empty liquor bottles...
and various instruments.
He then went into the bedroom, which was empty, except for a dresser,
and saw blood on the wall and blood on the blanket covering the bed.
He found her in the bathroom.
She had ended there, near the floor of the shower.
When I arrived, I took off her personal effects
and gave them to the detective.
I noticed a bottle of whiskey in the bathroom that was nearly empty.
I also found an empty bottle of sleeping pills.
On both wrists, she'd made lateral incisions.
She also had dug into the vein located inside the elbow.
I do think it was a complex set of factors,
between the pills, the alcohol and the blood loss.
It's not our job to ascribe motive or to classify what we find.
But I have to say that, in this case,
this is someone who was determined to die.
I don't know if that helps you or not.
Hey, Danny.
Do you think that we should keep these?
Mare, they're just potato chips.
We don't have to save them.
I know, but I just was thinking maybe they were the last thing she was eating.
Do you think we should keep them?
Yeah.
Okay, we'll think about it.
Jesus.
-What are you doing? -Trying to make this place livable.
How many floods has this shit been through?
Beggars can't be choosers.
Nobody asked you to leave your lovely husband.
You know, I got that chair for you from Mom and Dad's.
Dad was in the middle of his purging and I saved it.
What about the Viking ship?
No, I wasn't quick enough for that.
No. That was the best thing. I loved that thing. It was like 7 feet long.
Yeah, remember it hanging over the fireplace in the first house?
Do you even remember that house?
Are you high?
I was traumatized in that house. I got drunk for the first time in that house.
Not possible. You were like 11 when we left there.
Ding, ding, ding. That's kind of my point.
Do you have any sleeping pills here?
No.
What?
I can't get the kind I like without a prescription.
And they won't give me a prescription because I can't be trusted.
Do you think you could get me a prescription?
I'm just...
so freaking tired.
You'll get some rest now you're here.
Come on!
I can't run in these shoes!
Colleen!
Where'd you go?!
Shit.
You scared me, baby girl.
Come on.
I didn't mean it the way you heard it.
Look, you yourself told me you weren't happy about your weight.
I just agreed with you.
You gotta grab these things and just wrestle them to the ground.
-I know, Dad. -You know, you know, you know.
I've had these moments of depression
or whatever you wanna call them.
You have to be disciplined.
Colleen in charge.
You can't let your mind go there.
Stay on that beam.
Okay.
Daddy?
-Daddy? -Yeah?
So...
I'm thinking I'm gonna do that shock therapy.
Judas Priest.
How much is that gonna cost?
Damn it.
-What's wrong, Dad? -Damn thing's out of juice.
Do you have your charger?
No, damn it.
Well, look around. There are tons of chargers here.
I think Colleen used an outlet for everything.
Let me just sit down for a second.
Oh, man.
Better get a move on.
-I got it, I got it, I got it. -Great.
I'll...
put this stuff in Karl's van.
They're asking us to pay the rent!
Tommy, he don't mean it. He's just doing his job.
-Doing his job? -He didn't mean to upset you.
-He's hanging around like a vulture. -Oh, Jesus.
Waiting for the moment to pounce.
He's asking us to pay the damn rent!
-Wait a minute. -What's going on?
The guy, the guy, the apartment-manager guy.
Yeah, he's asking for money now?
The guy from out in the front?
I don't know his name.
So wait a minute. Does he have a bill? Does he have a record?
How the hell do I know?
I spent all morning out there with Karl, collecting my dead daughter's stuff.
And this jackass comes waving a paper in my face.
-Dad. -What?
Let's go talk to him now. Let's talk to him, you and me.
Mare, no, no, no. That guy is not coming in here.
You're all getting mad at the wrong person!
Leave it, Karl.
You're all working yourselves up into some kind of tizzy!
She probably didn't pay him!
She never was good with money.
What are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about?
Hey, hey, hey!
Excuse me! Excuse me! She was meticulous with money.
I've seen her bank account. Nothing in it.
What are you doing going through her accounts?
-I'm her husband. I have rights. -She left you. You have no rights.
She was gonna divorce your ass.
I don't know what kind of rights you think you have!
-Watch your mouth! -Mister!
Leave me alone! Allie, back me up.
Look, I really don't think she was coming back to you.
Her crazy therapist told her to leave me.
-She never would've left if it wasn't for her. -She was unhappy.
How do you know?!
I know because I was here with her two weeks ago.
And we talked about everything. She was getting her life back together.
She had no intention of coming back to you.
In fact, she told me she wanted to get divorced.
So now you're all ganging up on me. This family always sticks together.
I never saw any of you telling her to come back to me!
Isn't that what you're supposed to do in a marriage? Work on it?
Why do you think I'm here?!
She was my wife!
-My wife. -Karl...
-This whole thing-- -Karl, no one's ganging up on you.
Yes, you are. You're like a gang.
You...
You remember that time at the airport when the guy cut in front of you, Mare,
and we did all gang up on him?
-I do. -That was funny.
Who was there? Mom. Mom was there.
Colleen.
You remember that?
-Yeah. -You remember that?
She walked up to that guy, I mean, right up.
"Get to the back of the line!"
Where--? Where's Karl?
He probably ran away.
Oh, well, finally.
Oh, come on.
Dan, I think you have to apologize to Karl, okay?
For what?
He's upset.
Mare, we're all upset.
I know we're all upset, but he's her husband.
And I'm her brother.
I knew her longer.
So everything I said, I meant. I'm not apologizing.
Fine. Fine. Whatever.
Yeah, I don't actually care anymore.
Go ahead.
All right.
Mare.
What happened to that gang of mine?
Do you want light or extra butter?
Oh, come on. Is that even a question?
I'm just joshing you. I know my man. Lookie, lookie. Cholesterol in a bowl.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
What time is that realtor thing tomorrow?
Eleven.
Oh, yes. That means I get to sleep in.
I am the happiest girl in the world.
What are you looking at?
You.
Stop it! I'm trying to watch the damn movie.
I love you.
-Sorry, Danny. -It's all right.
-Hey, guys. -Yeah?
I got ahold of Colleen's phone.
I've been looking through it.
Look at that.
Every call's from us.
Yeah.
Is Karl coming?
No. He went back to the hotel.
Your brother will be showing up soon, and he wants to meet him there.
How's he doing?
Karl?
No. Sean.
Oh, well...
Yeah, he's--
He's all right, I guess.
He's sorry he can't be with us.
Vicky wouldn't let him leave.
We know what she's like.
Crazy.
Oh, yeah, the detective called me on the case.
They had to finish up a few more details to close the case.
But that he's going to call it an accidental--
Accidental overdose.
So...
So they determined that it was an accidental overdose...
or they're calling it an accidental overdose?
What's your point?
Well, no, I think that makes sense.
I don't think that she--
I think that she...
you know, was in a moment where everything looked hopeless.
-Yeah. Things just got away from her. -Yeah.
I don't-- I don't--
I don't think she ever imagined that it would end up like...
what happened.
I think it's important that we be clear about--
I just-- I--
I'm not sure anyone is served by things being muddied.
Dan.
No one knows the whole story.
We don't know what really went on.
No, I understand that, Mare, but I think, given her history,
it's pretty clear what happened. I mean, you remember-- What was it?
--that February when Mom was dying?
No, that was different.
That was clearly a cry for help.
Yeah, right, right. But this.
Was different.
It was an accident.
-That's what they said, right, Dad? -Yeah, yeah.
Accidental overdose.
Which means that we can bury her with your mom.
Right.
No, I got it.
Did they ever find out what was in the note?
All right, Dan.
What was in it?
-What? -What did the note say?
Goddamn it, Dan.
I just think it's important that we all be honest with each other.
-Yeah. -I mean, did they say who it was to?
Well, I mean,
was it to Karl?
No, it wasn't to Karl.
Who was it to?
Was it to us?
Judas Priest.
-Dan, who was it made out to? -I don't know. I didn't see it.
So...
Dad.
What?
Who was the note to?
Oh, God.
It was to the dogs.
To her dogs.
She said she was sorry.
That's it.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my fucking God!
Hey, hey, I don't like to hear that.
-Just keep quiet. -Sorry.
I don't want that, do you hear me?
-I'm sorry, Dad. Sorry. -Just keep quiet.
I can't believe it.
She wrote a note to her dogs?
I mean, that's--
That's cray-cray.
Right?
She writes a suicide note to the dogs?
Well, she did love them.
You're a bunch of damn lunatics.
There's one more thing we have to discuss.
They're going to cremate her in the next day or two.
I would like some of her hair.
-Me too. -Me too.
-Get out of here. -Dad.
-That's kind of ghoulish to-- -Dad.
-I don't know that I could convince-- -Dad!
-What? -This is not a request.
-Okay, folks. All set? -Yeah.
Hamburger.
Sean!
Let's get this party started!
-Sean! -Hey, you.
How you doing?
-My inclination. -It was self-published.
Nice. Very nice.
Hey, do you guy--? Do you remember the picture?
-No, what picture? -It was on your bed.
You mean, when we were all at Mare's?
Yeah, Geoff's funeral.
-Yeah, we were all on the bed. -Yeah.
Oh, Dad was trying to write his eulogy for Geoff,
-and he wanted to read it out loud-- -And Mom kept interrupting.
Oh, boy. "Mommus Interruptus" is what it's called.
I was trying to be serious and you people kept interrupting.
Mom kept saying, "Oh, Tom. Tom.
-My five babies. Oh, Tom." -Oh, I've heard her say that many times.
-Danny, you were taping everything. -Yeah.
-Didn't you have your camera? -That's right!
I knew the camera was on. I saw you trying to be subtle.
-You did not see the camera moving. -I saw the camera.
Then everybody kept coming in. Remember, Karl?
-Yeah. -Looking for Colleen, I think.
-No, she had my damn wallet. -Right.
Right?
-Who took the picture? -It was Danny.
-I remember. -No, no.
It was Judy. She used my phone.
Judy.
-No, the bed was covered! -Judy.
It was covered! You had about 16 people on it.
-Do you have a copy of that photo? -Yeah.
-Number grows every time. -I used it for Mom's memorial movie.
And Phillipe came in. He kind of dove on the bed.
Phillipe came in. Phillipe came in.
Oh, Phillipe.
I miss him.
I wish he was here.
-Come on, Dan, call him. -No.
Yeah, yeah, call him.
-Call him. -Call him, call him, call him.
-Come on, call him. -Call him.
Phillipe! Phillipe! Phillipe!
You guys keep your damn voices down!
-We're gonna get kicked out of here! -No, we're the only people here, Tom!
-Really? -Come on, Dan.
My God, guys!
-I don't even know if he's up. -Just call him.
It's like two hours different in New York. Where are we again?
-Hey, hey, hey. -I don't even know where we are.
Hello.
-Hello, hi. -Give me the phone.
-Hello? -Oh, no, no, no. Mine, mine, mine.
-Sounds like a party in there. -Phillipe.
-Hi. -We miss you.
We wish you were here.
I miss you too. I wish I could be there, but someone has to take care of the dog.
Come on, that's nonsense. You know you can fly with dogs.
You're just scared of us.
Phillipe! Phillipe!
Hey, hey, Phillipe, Phillipe!
-Karl! -Hi, Karl.
No, really, that's Karl.
-I know. -How are you?
-You'll never recognize him. -Where are you guys?
-Hey. -No, no, no.
Everybody's in my room.
Dan and I are sharing a bedroom again.
-Oh, wow, just like old times. -It's not bunk beds, though.
I just got in from Minneapolis.
I walk in here and my entire room has been taken over
by complete fucking crazy people.
-The whole family! -Yeah. Sounds wild.
Hey, let me get my phone. Can I have my phone?
Can I have my phone, please? Can I have my phone, please?
Seriously, when are you coming to Kansas?
Are you--? Are you slurring your words?
-She's gone. -No.
She's gone.
She's exactly like Mom. One glass of wine and she's blotto.
Leave your poor mom out of this.
Don't believe a word.
Karl, Karl, Karl, catch!
Come on.
Just give me the phone. Give me the phone.
-Karl, Karl! -What?
-Give me my phone. Give me my phone. -I don't have it! I don't have the phone.
Who has it? Dad!
Dad, Dad. Please give me my-- Goddamn it!
-Hey, hey. -Mare!
-Karl! Karl! -Stop it!
-Ow, my tit! -Hot potato. Hot potato.
Jesus, you guys!
-Grow the fuck up! -Baby.
Hello?
Dan?
Oh, my God.
He is the baby now.
Yup.
Jeez, you're right.
-Hi. -Hi.
How you doing?
-Hey, Dan. -You know...
-It's your song. -I was thinking about you today.
-You have to sing! Karl. Karl, turn it up. -Mare, don't.
He doesn't want to.
Dan! Danny, come on, you have to sing!
Mare, I'm on the phone with Phillipe.
Danny, you have to sing!
Come on, Dan.
Colleen would love this.
-I don't want to sing. -Come on!
-Sean, come on! -All right.
Sean, don't, don't.
Sean, come on!
Come on.
-Come on, you guys, help me. -You guys. Oh, my God.
Jesus. I am trying to talk to Phillipe.
-He doesn't wanna sing. -I am not a trained seal!
-Come on, Dan. What's the big deal? -I don't want to sing!
Come on, come on!
I don't want to sing!
You guys.
-Danny, Danny, Danny! -I don't want to fucking sing!
Shut the fuck up!
-Hello? -God.
-Yeah. -What's going on?
Jeez, Dan, we're having fun.
I'm not a trained monkey! Okay? You just--
I can't just, like, do it on cue!
It's just-- You guys, it's...
God.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I know. I know.
Yeah.
Yeah, you go ahead, honey.
You go ahead. I know. I know.
Yeah. Yeah.
I know. I know.
Go ahead.
I know.
Hey, Phillipe.
Is he all right?
Yeah, he's okay.
It's just been a day, you know?
He'll call you in a little-- Little while later.
Yeah, yeah. You know where I'll be.
-Okay. -Thanks.
Leener used to tell me how Dan tortured her when they were little.
-Great timing, Karl. -Oh, yeah.
He used to lie under her crib.
And then he would pull down her blankets really slowly so she'd cry.
And then he would-- He'd run to his room, and then--
Of course, Mom would come in and she'd go:
"Oh, what's the matter, Colleen?"
When was--? When was this?
You don't know the half of it.
Then I don't want you telling me now.
Right.
It's so funny.
She was a kid when I went to college. It's like I didn't even know her.
-She was the baby. -You knew her.
No, I mean, I missed her childhood.
By the time we actually spent real time together, she was this-- This--
This whack job?
-Allie. -It's true.
It's so-- It's so true!
She was so out of her mind.
She was unique.
Unique.
And she was--
She was a riot and she was a handful.
She was so, so, so smart.
And so strong.
And so loving.
Yeah. All that and more.
Maybe I'm just looking back and trying to...
figure out how much time I had with her when you add it all up, you know?
It doesn't matter, Sean.
When you were with her, it was like no time passed at all.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah.
Dad's asleep.
It's been a long day.
Yeah.
We used to think of you as almost superhuman.
But now the scales have fallen from my eyes,
and I see you as you really are.
Oh, shit. What is it?
"You write about art, but you don't know anything about art.
Those books of yours, which I used to admire are not--"
Stop! Don't give me too much. Just give me the first phrase.
But you didn't know it.
You can't give me too much. Give me the first word.
Sorry, I didn't get the instruction manual on how to get my brother a job.
The manual says, "Be nice. Don't act. And give me a little bit until I catch on."
Okay, fine, but I can see why Phillipe won't run lines with you.
Okay, let me take it back.
-Are you gonna help me? -You said not to give you too much.
-But you gotta give me something! -Fine, okay.
"We used to think of you as almost superhuman.
But now the scales have fallen from my eyes."
This stuff is awful.
Excuse me, this is Chekhov. Oh, my God, you're worse than Mom.
Does she act it out?
She starts emoting. She gets up. She starts acting it out.
She gives all the characters different accents.
Oh, my God! Oh, crap, should we cut?
-No. -Okay, okay.
-I'm just gonna skip. I'm just gonna skip. -Okay. Yep, yep.
-Turn the page. -Okay, okay, okay.
-Okay. -Okay.
Okay.
I will not be quiet!
I haven't finished yet!
You have ruined my life. I have not lived! I have not lived!
-Colleen, go! It's your line! Go! -I can't!
I can't hold the camera and do lines and check your words. Fuck!
Come on. I have to do this. I have to send this off tomorrow.
I'm, like, trapped down here in bum-fuck Virginia
with all these Republicans and these golf courses!
Dad's gonna hear us and come down.
He's gonna be like: Hey, what are you kids still doing up?
Judas Priest!
-No, I can't do this. -Why?
-I'm going to bed. I can't. Good night. -No, no, no.
-I think Mom made some TV mix. -No. Do not bring that out.
I'll eat it all. No!
No, good night. Good night. Bye.
Party pooper!
Oh, Dan.
Loser!
Hey. Dan.
I'm eating all the TV mix.
You know, I used to think of you as almost superhuman.
But now the scales have fallen from my eyes.
See you in the morning.